My heart is aching


When I was 14 my mom and stepdad notified me that at the end of the school year (8th grade) we were moving from Oregon to Washington. One of my neighborhood friends gave me this adorable little kitten as a gift. She was sooo precious. I remember sitting in a chinese restaurant with my mom and Lou, thinking of names, mom suggested “Ellee” because she’s grey like an ELEphant. She was the cutest little kitten I had seen since…well K.C. (My other cat). We bonded. She always slept with me, under the covers, with my arm around her. If I didn’t let her snuggle up next to me she’d meow and meow and meow until I let her snuggle. She’d follow me everywhere, cry if I didn’t let her into a room I was in, She’d sit on top of the computer monitor when I was doing homework. She’d steal everyone’s attention from our older cat K.C.

the catch with baby Ellee is that when she grew up she started to HATE everyone in the world, except me. She’d hit people, hiss, huff, growl, and bite, everyone except me. She had a temper issue and flat out did not like any men except for my stepdad (and that was probably only because he gave her a treat every morning before work.)

a few months ago my mom called me to let me know that Ellee had a mass growing on her shoulder. She took her in and had it removed….5 weeks later she found more. The vet suggested we remove them because he knew they had been un-reachable during the last surgery. It has been about 5 weeks since that second surgery and Ellee May has 5 mor growths. From the looks of it, it is helpless, we cannot win this battle. My poor baby girl most likely will not live to see her older years. She is only 8 years old and may not even make it to her 9th birhtday. I have been crying on and off in heartache for my little kitten. She was there for me through so much, and I can’t be there for her when she needs the extra love. I haven’t been able to get the full bad news from my mom (I had to leave Ellee May and K.C. in my moms care when I graduated because my living arrangements didn’t permit cats. I can’t help but feel sooooooo guilty that I chose Archie over Ellee when we could finally have a pet. Mitchell has gone out of his way to explain that Archie was his decision, his purchase and techinally his pet, so I didn’t ever choose little Archimedes over my beautiful Ellee May. I hurt not knowing what the future holds for her, will she be in pain? Will it cause her to have problems walking? Will it take her before I can see her and say goodbye? I just can’t, and don’t want to have to imagine or deal with life without my vicious yet sweet baby. I love you Ellee.

One thought on “My heart is aching

  1. Pingback: WIDLM (Friday) Goodbyes | theREALkk

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s