In life, a girl will make many friends. As a young girl a best friend is just about anyone who will play their favorite game or toy with them. As she gets older her best friend will become someone she trusts and typically becomes an extension of her family.
In her entire life girls tend to have more than one best friend. Sometimes you just grow apart, others you get in a big fight over something minor and become stubborn enough to never apologize.
In other (rare…but not really) situations are much worse. Typically in high school things become much more dramatic. One friend burns the other or just simply stops talking to the other.
There are 4 situations in my life where I’ve lost a best friend.
1) M, she and I went to elementary school together. In the 3rd grade she told me I wasn’t cool and that we couldn’t be friends. It hurt but what hurt more was when she made fun of me in front of her new friends.
2) T, she and I met in 5th grade. Over the years of our friendship anytime my family moved (even just 5 min away) she’d panic and tell me we couldn’t be friends anymore. She always calmed down and changed her mind but in the back of my head I knew it would end with me in tears. 9th grade rolled around and she came up from oregon to visit. I think that’s when she realized just how different we were. She visited once, and called me when she got home and told me we couldn’t be friends anymore because I didn’t fit in with her new life.
3) E, she kinda “adopted” me as a friend when my family moved to Washington. At first she was a great friend, but then as time wore on she’d tell others things I had told her in confidence. She was always manipulating me and using me to make herself look and feel better. I don’t think she ever considered me her real friend. By the end of my sophomore year in high school she killed my confidence and self esteem. She had all of her friends attack me and call me to “hang out” then ditch me. I remember nights of crying and my mom telling me to cut E out, but being 16 I thought it was just how friends treated each other. Now I realize it’s just really messed up.
Finally, the most recent and most hurtful. N, we met through another friend and her family was wonderful to me. She was such a sweet friend and always included others. Then one day, she just stopped replying to my texts/calls. It wasn’t just me she cut out, other friends too. It’s been 3 years since the last time I spoke to her but it still hurts. She recently got engaged, and is, apparently, getting married in a week… I just had hoped she would have at least explained what it was that I did or didn’t do that caused her to disappear.
Finding a best friend is so hard, and then having them just walk away is even worse. Tonight I’m having a hard time not dwelling on things I can’t change, but my struggles can be helpful for someone else.
Don’t hold grudges
Always forgive, but don’t always forget
Be honest and reliable
Before ending a friendship, make sure to think the situation throw, and ask yourself the following:
Did they intend to hurt our friendship?
Have I talked to them about my concerns?
How would I feel in their shoes?
Have I made the same mistake?
Do I want to end this friendship?
I know that tonight I’m going through and seeing if there are any friendships I may be able to strengthen rather than let wither away.